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I Broke My Penis. It Was Bad. ‘On Top Of Fridge’ Bad (www.dmarge.com)

I Broke My Penis. It Was Bad. ‘On Top Of Fridge’ Bad

Jimmy* is a bonafide high-flyer in the car sales business from Melbourne. Whilst the charismatic 38-year-old bachelor has earned his stripes and claims to have seen it all, nothing would prepare him for these few words from the surgeon’s mouth.

“We’re basically going to cut your penis off at the base, go in, sew the break up and then put your penis back on.”

Jimmy was in a natural state of shock. It was an emotion which outweighed any notion of fear as he lay slumped in the examination chair, gazing down at a blackened piece of appendage that now resembled an overripe banana.

His penis was properly broken and he knew it. What he didn’t know was how severe it was until after the operation.

RELATED: The Most Dangerous Sex Position For Penis Fractures Has Been Revealed

A Penis Prologue

To contemplate the girth of this story (sorry), one needs to first travel back to a more jovial time where beautiful young women were aplenty and Seeking Arrangements was an entirely viable way for Jimmy to meet them.

For the uninitiated, Seeking Arrangements is a sugar baby and sugar daddy dating website founded by MIT graduate Brandon Wade. Older professionals with money hook up with gorgeous young women who like to spend said money. Sex is often part of the deal without needing to make it entirely explicit and the site claims that there’s the potential for “real connections”.

For pre-busted-penis Jimmy, this would be his second date with Stacey*, a stunning 23-year old part-time model /…

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